Fancy Girls!

So this past weekend was my good friend Liz's 20-somethingth birthday, for which she hosted a dinner party at her house and enlisted my help. Amongst several other dishes, including spinach dip, a lasagna and a cheese platter that the kind people at Whole Foods put together so we didn't even have to, we also made a few other things.


Pumpkin Ravioli with Sage-Cream Sauce
The pumpkin ravioli was a recipe Liz found in a Rachael Ray magazine her roommate bought.

1 cup canned pure pumpkin puree
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup finely grated parmesan cheese, plus shaved parmesan for serving
1 large egg
Salt and pepper
32 wonton wrappers

1. In a medium bowl, mash together the pumpkin, cream cheese, parmesan, egg and 2 pinches each salt and pepper.
2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside. Spoon a tablespoon of the pumpkin-cream cheese filling into the center of 16 wonton wrappers, brush the edges with water, top with the remaining 16 wrappers and press to seal, gently squeezing out the air. Arrange in a single layer on the prepared baking sheet.
3. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil.
4. Working in 3 batches, cook the ravioli in the boiling water until they float to the surface, about 3 minutes.

Surprisingly, we had very little trouble with this. Only one or two of the wontons burst, and only because the second you dropped them in the boiling water, they sank to the bottom and stuck immediately. The key seemed to be moving them around in the water constantly, especially in the first minute.

The Rachael Ray sauce was just butter and pumpkin seeds, so we decided to make a sage-cream sauce. Melt 2 tablespoons of a butter in a small saucepan until foamy. Add one chopped shallot and 2 tablespoons of chopped fresh sage, cook about 5 minutes. Add two cups of heavy cream (aw yeah) and three fresh sage sprigs, and simmer about 15 minutes or until sauce is reduced by half. Remove the sprigs of sage and serve over pasta.

The only things we decided we would change about this dish was that next time, instead of using two wontons to make a big ravioli, we would use the wrapping directions on the back of the wonton package and call em tortellini. Taste-wise, they were great, but the look of all the noodles was a bit weird. Also, people began to arrive as the sauce was still simmering, so I think I took it off the stove a little too soon and it was a bit runny. Oh well, lesson learned.



Sorry the picture is a little out of focus--Rob wasn't there to take it.

4-Layer Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese Filling and White Chocolate Ganache

The cake recipe came from Paula Deen:

2 cups sugar
1/2 pound (2 sticks) butter, at room temperature
2 eggs
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 ounces red food coloring
2 1/2 cups cake flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon vinegar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a mixing bowl, cream the sugar and butter, beat until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and mix well after each addition. Mix cocoa and food coloring together and then add to sugar mixture; mix well. Sift together flour and salt. Add flour mixture to the creamed mixture alternately with buttermilk. Blend in vanilla. In a small bowl, combine baking soda and vinegar and add to mixture. Pour batter into 3 (8-inch) round greased and floured pans. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Remove from heat and cool completely before frosting.

Well, that was the recipe for three 8-inch cakes. I increased it by half to make four 9-inch cakes. Why? I don't know. I really don't.

The cream cheese frosting between each layer is just 8oz cream cheese, softened, mixed with half a stick of butter, softened, 1 tsp of vanilla and a 16oz package of powdered sugar, added in increments. Simple enough.

The white chocolate ganache was 13 ounces of Ghirardelli white chocolate, chopped into pieces. Over this, pour 1/2 cup of heavy cream that has been brought to the boiling point but not quite boiled. Now stir like hell until the chocolate melts and you have a goopy syrup. Pour over the top of the cake.

I should probably have made more ganache, as you can see it didn't quite make it the whole way down the cake, because the cake was like two feet tall. The red stuff on top is just the extra cream cheese frosting, thinned out with a little cream and tinted with red food coloring. It looks orange in the photo, but I promise it was red. The top is garnished with the leftover white chocolate pieces. This cake made people's bellies hurt, so...mission accomplished!!

At Least Someone Can Bake...

...because I sure can't.

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Chip Cookies

I hate baking. You know, I always think I can do it, and everything usually turns out poorly. It’s all that exact measuring—when I cook, I like to dump some of this in, a little of that, then taste and see what it needs. I can’t be bothered to level off flour or measure out sugar. I do not have the patience to bake.

Alas, I always try anyway. I figured it’d be easy to make cookies using the recipe on the damn bag of Nestle Toll House chocolate chips. Hah. Right.

Here’s what you need:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks, 1/2 pound) butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated [white] sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup chopped nuts

Except I did 1½ cups of chocolate chips and 1½ cups of those Reese’s peanut butter chips. Mmm. Maybe that weighed down the batter too much, I don’t know. Oh well, onto the steps…

1. Combine flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl.
2. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla in large mixer bowl.
3. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition; gradually beat in flour
mixture.
4. Stir in chocolate and peanut butter chips.
5. Realize that there is a hockey game on television that you are missing.
6. Wander into living room, taking cookie dough with you.
7. Marvel at how the Versus Network’s NHL coverage is even worse than the local station's, a feat you never imagined possible.
8. Notice a slight stomach ache and realize you’ve eaten about 25% of the dough.
9. Curse.
10. Drop leftover dough by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
11. Realize that even though you have eaten a good portion of the dough, this is gonna make a lot of cookies. You’re going to be up all night. Curse again.
12. Bake in preheated 375-degree oven for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown.
13. Realize that 11 minutes is probably too long when the first batch comes out sort of... black-ish. Curse. Wow, you’re on a roll!
14. Let cookies stand for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.
15. Wonder why your cookies are flat instead of puffy like the ones in pictures. Wonder if you should have added more baking soda?
16. Wonder what the hell you are doing to do with 3-4 dozen flat ass cookies.
17. Vow never to do this again.





That picture actually makes them look better than they do in person.

On the bright side, they actually tasted pretty good. As Rob put it, they aren’t much to look at, but if you close your eyes when you eat them, it’s a pretty enjoyable experience.

Here he is, proving it.


Oh Rob.



So he gave them a very generous 9 for taste, 5.5 for looks. I averaged this out to 7 hot dogs. I would have rounded up to 7.5, but I hate how my "half a hot dog" clip art is bigger than the full hot dog, and I don't feel like fixing it. Mediocrity at its finest!!


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Contributions!

My evil twin is one hell of a baker. Laura once made this biscotti that she brought to my house, and I didn't speak to my then-boyfriend for nearly a week because he ate the last piece. It was that good. Her first contribution to my blog are these totally bitchin' monkey cupcakes she made for a child's birthday party:



Here is her recipe:

I wanted to use a banana cake recipe but the mom who wanted them, said all chocolate. This recipe made 48 cupcakes! Holy Bananas.

3 cups flour
1 1/2 t. baking soda
3 sticks of butter, supposed to be softened at room temp., I of course put them in the microwave for 10 seconds
1 1/2 cup sugar
8 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted.
1 1/2 cup brown sugar
6 eggs
1 1/2 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 t. vanilla extract (don't be cheap, use the real shit)


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line muffin tins with cupcake papers. Set aside.

In a small bowl, sift together the flour and baking soda. Set aside.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter until smooth. Add the sugars and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the chocolate, mixing until well incorporated. Add the dry ingredients in three parts, alternating with the buttermilk and vanilla (I of course did both all at once and my batter was super thick, but they baked to perfect tops!). Do NOT overbeat. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl to make sure the ingredients are well blended and the batter is smooth. Carefully spoon the batter into the cupcake liners, filling them about three-quarters full. Bake for 20–25 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted in the center of the cupcake comes out clean.

Cool the cupcakes in the tins for 15 minutes. Remove from the tins and cool completely on a wire rack before icing.


I made them Friday night and iced them Saturday morning with chocolate icing, large Nilla wafers, mini Nilla wafers, I cut small marshmallows in half for eyes and I used black and red gel for the nose and eyes. All the kids loved them, but they thought they were bought at the grocery store and didn't believe they were homemade.

Here are the finished products. How cute are they?


If you'd like to contribute a recipe, either send me the recipe and I'll make it to the best of my ability, or you can make it and then send me the recipe and photos to thefoodsex@gmail.com.

Not a Pie Man

Normally I’m not a big fan of being dependent on recipes—I think it’s better to have a good understanding of food and flavors and how they work together, but when it comes to baking: 1) I am vaguely inept and 2) as a craft, it requires a lot of precision. So here is the Whole Foods recipe that I adapted slightly for Robbo’s birthday, even though he doesn’t really like pie. Because, you know, I like pie.

Pumpkin-Apple Pie
Serves 8

1/3 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, ground
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup water
2 tablespoons butter
3 cups Granny Smith apple, peeled, cored and thinly sliced

1 large egg
1/3 cup sugar, granulated
3/4 cup pumpkin, mashed (fresh or canned)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, ground
1/4 teaspoon ginger, ground
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup evaporated milk
1 unbaked 9-inch pie shell

Combine the brown sugar, cornstarch, 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon and 1/4 teaspoon salt in a 2-quart saucepan. Stir in the water and butter. Cook, over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture comes to a boil. Carefully add the apple slices and cook for another 4 minutes. Remove from the heat and set aside.

Combine the egg, sugar, pumpkin, 1/4 teaspoon salt, spices, and evaporated milk in a bowl. Beat until well blended using a rotary or electric mixer set on low speed. Pour the apple mixture into the unbaked pie shell and then spoon an even layer of the pumpkin mixture over the apple mixture. Bake in a preheated 425°F oven for 10 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 375°F, and bake for another 40 minutes, or until the filling is set around the edges. Cool on a wire rack.

Here it is (with vanilla ice cream, because what’s the point of pie if it’s not a vehicle to carry ice cream to your mouth?):


Robbo’s review:
Like I said, he doesn’t really like pie, but Rob also claims to not like things he’s never tried. He looked at it and said, “I’m nervous!” He took a bite, swallowed and said, “Well, it’s not bad.”
So, 6.5 out of a possible 10 hot dogs.



Caveat: As a pie fan, I thought this was awesome. On Thanksgiving, I always have to pick between pumpkin and apple pie because I never have room for both—PEOPLE, this pie is both!
And Rob’s dad asked that we leave the leftovers at his house, so I call this pie a winner! Rob is full of it!