More Soup, What Can I Say?

So, I’m a total dweeb, seriously. Do people still say dweeb? I’m a dweeb. Whenever people would mention to me in public that they’d seen my food blog, I’d get all embarrassed and feel like a loser. And I decided I wasn’t going to do it because I wanted to be cool. You know.

And then people started asking me what happened to it, and it was way more embarrassing to say that I didn’t want to do it anymore because I wanted to be cool, so fuck it, here’s some soup.

Seven-Veggie Soup

This technically has eight vegetables in it, but Rob said that Seven-Veggie Soup was a catchier name, so let’s go with that. You could use whatever you wanted, really. I had started out intending to make traditional minestrone, or at least what I thought traditional minestrone was, but as it turns out, there are no hard and fast rules to minestrone.

So, here we go. I had some zucchini and the very, very last of the summer squash. It looked a little anemic, but I figured it’d be okay. Dice these both into bite size pieces. Heat some olive oil in the bottom of a big pot, and add a clove or two of minced garlic, and maybe half an onion. Sautee them until they are soft and fragrant. This, incidentally, is the beginning to every good recipe for soup, and also for tomato sauce. I love this method, it just feels so familiar and smells so good. Anyway, enough dweebiness. I added a few shakes of dried oregano. You could use dried basil, or Italian seasoning, or whatever you like. The key to cooking with dried herbs is to add them at the beginning so they have time to release their flavors. When using fresh herbs, add them at the end so they don’t lose all their flavor in cooking.

Throw in your chopped zucchini and squash and stir. I also threw in a diced red pepper at this point, which I thought was really good, but Rob was not sold on. Also, I’d had half a bag of frozen corn leftover from something, and I added that too. Cook about 5 minutes until the veggies are soft, then add a can of crushed tomatoes. The big can. If it had been summer, I’d have pureed some fresh tomatoes, but it’s not, so canned it is. Pour in 2 cans of vegetable broth and bring it to a boil. Once it’s boiling, lower the heat a bit and simmer, covered, for 15-20 minutes.

Add a can of drained white beans. I used navy beans, which prompted me to keep singing that line from that terrible Adam Sandler song that just goes, “navy beans navy beans navy beans!” Clearly you know exactly what I’m talking about. Also add about a ½ a cup of uncooked small pasta. I actually ended up putting more in because I thought it didn’t look like enough, but I was wrong. ½ cup it is. I used ditalini, because that’s what I thought was usually in minestrone. Cook until the pasta is tender, about 10 minutes. Just keep trying it. Once the pasta is tender, throw in a big handful of spinach and let it wilt for a few minutes, then remove the soup from heat. Season with salt and pepper if need be, add a little fresh basil if you want, and serve.

I garnished with freshly grated asiago cheese, because Rob gets antsy if he doesn’t get at least some animal-product in him, but this would certainly be a good vegan soup otherwise.



I wish the picture had come out a bit better, because the soup was definitely more red and vibrant than this, but oh well. Rob says he was pleasantly surprised and went into it timidly, which isn’t surprising because we recently had someone who knows him well convinced that Rob is allergic to vegetables.

Eight hot dogs. Woo!

Pesto, Take Two

Asparagus Pesto with Baked Goat Cheese

As you may have guessed, I’m really into making different kinds of pesto. Traditionally, pesto refers to a puree of fresh basil, olive oil, garlic, parmesan cheese and pine nuts, but there is so much more you can do with it.

I made this asparagus pesto recently. I think I just love the idea of green noodles, which means I really ought to try making fresh spinach pasta, but you know, sometimes I’m lazy. So here’s the asparagus pesto:

Start out with a pound of the thinnest, youngest, most tender asparagus you can find. I know they aren’t in season right now, which totally sucks, but I end up buying it year-round anyway. Snap off the tough ends of each spear, and cook asparagus in boiling water for really just a few minutes—no more than 4. Take the asparagus out with tongs (rather than draining, so you can use the boiling water for pasta.) Cut off the tip of each spear (about 1.5 – 2 inches) and set aside. Chop the remaining spears into pieces.

Into your food processor, place:
The chopped spears,
2 cloves of garlic
1 tablespoon of olive oil
About 1.5 tablespoons of lemon juice
3 tablespoons of hot water from the asparagus/pasta pot
A handful of fresh basil leaves (just under ¼ cup, I’d guess.)
Process until smooth.

Serve over your choice of pasta (I used linguine) and top with the reserved asparagus tips and some grated parmesan.

WARNING: Don’t make this stuff if you’re planning on getting hot and heavy with anyone. You’re ingesting about a half-pound of asparagus per serving, so it makes your pee (and thus, your nether regions) smell like a garbage dump on a hot day in July. Seriously. I’m sorry.

I served this with baked goat cheese, because goat cheese is my new obsession (take that, milk allergy!) Goat cheese usually comes in a little roll of 4 ounces. Stick the whole package in the freezer for about 15-20 minutes before you start this, it makes the slicing go much easier, as goat cheese is pretty crumbly. Carefully slice into 4 rounds and dredge each round in seasoned bread crumbs. Place on a baking sheet and bake at 425 for about 6-8 minutes. Yeah!



The concept of baked goat cheese nearly pushed Rob to the brink of a nervous breakdown, but he pushed through. Unfortunately, I didn't freeze the goat cheese long enough and it was still a little crumbly, so that kind of sucked. But he really liked the pesto, so he gave it a rating7.5 hot dogs.

Soup Season!

Potato-Rosemary Soup

Sorry for the delayed posting, I've been busy sitting on my couch and being fat, post-Thanksgiving.
Anyway.
MMMM soup. Around this time of year, I’m pretty much obsessed with soup. It’s liquid, it’s chunky, it’s WHATEVER YOU WANT IT TO BE.

Anyway, I had made this soup a few weeks ago when Rob went out in the cold to play paintball with his coworkers (yeah-- I don’t know why, either.) and then promptly forgot to write down what I put in it. So I tried to recreate it last night and paid closer attention this time around.

In a large pot, sauté the following in a bit of olive oil:
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 celery ribs, chopped (leaves and all)
1 white onion, chopped (because Rob is so afraid of big chunks of onions, I always puree them before I put them in soup or sauce. It’s actually pretty nice, except that when you go to sauté pureed onion, it will burn your eyes like you wouldn’t believe. Seriously, do NOT lean over that pot.)

Sauté these all for a few minutes until the celery seems tender. Add to this two cans of vegetable broth and 12 small red potatoes, quartered (this is about 2 pounds, I’d guess.)
Cover and let boil, then cook about 15 minutes or until the potatoes are tender.

Once the potatoes are cooked to your liking, take out about 10 of the quartered potato pieces and set them aside. To the soup, stir in a few glugs of balf-and-half (I never said this was fat free, did I?) until the soup begins to turn white/light brown. Ew! It tastes better than it sounds, I promise.

Working in batches if you’re me, or all at once if you’re an awesome person that owns a big food processor, puree the soup until it is a thick consistency. Return to pot and add salt and pepper generously. Simmer for a bit, and add more half-and-half if you want it to be a lighter color, a bit of water for a thinner soup, etc.

Sprinkle the potato pieces you left out with some salt and cut them into smaller chunks. You could either put them back in the soup now, or divide them among the bowls once it’s been served.

Chop a few sprigs worth of rosemary very finely and add it to the soup. I find that rosemary flavor gets weak very quickly when cooked in soup, but if you don’t cook it long enough, it’ll be overbearing. Just keep tasting, you’ll know when it’s ready.

Ladle into bowls and add the remaining potatoes, if you didn’t before. Garnish with a sprig of rosemary (come on, like you’re ever gonna use all the rosemary that comes in that package) and eat.



This soup is awesome with stale-ish bread, oyster crackers, and watching the X-Files on DVD in bed with your loved one. Um, not that that’s what we do. We’re exciting and fun, I swear!

Rob gave it 8 hot dogs. Awesome!

Fancy Girls!

So this past weekend was my good friend Liz's 20-somethingth birthday, for which she hosted a dinner party at her house and enlisted my help. Amongst several other dishes, including spinach dip, a lasagna and a cheese platter that the kind people at Whole Foods put together so we didn't even have to, we also made a few other things.


Pumpkin Ravioli with Sage-Cream Sauce
The pumpkin ravioli was a recipe Liz found in a Rachael Ray magazine her roommate bought.

1 cup canned pure pumpkin puree
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup finely grated parmesan cheese, plus shaved parmesan for serving
1 large egg
Salt and pepper
32 wonton wrappers

1. In a medium bowl, mash together the pumpkin, cream cheese, parmesan, egg and 2 pinches each salt and pepper.
2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside. Spoon a tablespoon of the pumpkin-cream cheese filling into the center of 16 wonton wrappers, brush the edges with water, top with the remaining 16 wrappers and press to seal, gently squeezing out the air. Arrange in a single layer on the prepared baking sheet.
3. Bring a pot of salted water to a boil.
4. Working in 3 batches, cook the ravioli in the boiling water until they float to the surface, about 3 minutes.

Surprisingly, we had very little trouble with this. Only one or two of the wontons burst, and only because the second you dropped them in the boiling water, they sank to the bottom and stuck immediately. The key seemed to be moving them around in the water constantly, especially in the first minute.

The Rachael Ray sauce was just butter and pumpkin seeds, so we decided to make a sage-cream sauce. Melt 2 tablespoons of a butter in a small saucepan until foamy. Add one chopped shallot and 2 tablespoons of chopped fresh sage, cook about 5 minutes. Add two cups of heavy cream (aw yeah) and three fresh sage sprigs, and simmer about 15 minutes or until sauce is reduced by half. Remove the sprigs of sage and serve over pasta.

The only things we decided we would change about this dish was that next time, instead of using two wontons to make a big ravioli, we would use the wrapping directions on the back of the wonton package and call em tortellini. Taste-wise, they were great, but the look of all the noodles was a bit weird. Also, people began to arrive as the sauce was still simmering, so I think I took it off the stove a little too soon and it was a bit runny. Oh well, lesson learned.



Sorry the picture is a little out of focus--Rob wasn't there to take it.

4-Layer Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese Filling and White Chocolate Ganache

The cake recipe came from Paula Deen:

2 cups sugar
1/2 pound (2 sticks) butter, at room temperature
2 eggs
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 ounces red food coloring
2 1/2 cups cake flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon vinegar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
In a mixing bowl, cream the sugar and butter, beat until light and fluffy. Add the eggs one at a time and mix well after each addition. Mix cocoa and food coloring together and then add to sugar mixture; mix well. Sift together flour and salt. Add flour mixture to the creamed mixture alternately with buttermilk. Blend in vanilla. In a small bowl, combine baking soda and vinegar and add to mixture. Pour batter into 3 (8-inch) round greased and floured pans. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Remove from heat and cool completely before frosting.

Well, that was the recipe for three 8-inch cakes. I increased it by half to make four 9-inch cakes. Why? I don't know. I really don't.

The cream cheese frosting between each layer is just 8oz cream cheese, softened, mixed with half a stick of butter, softened, 1 tsp of vanilla and a 16oz package of powdered sugar, added in increments. Simple enough.

The white chocolate ganache was 13 ounces of Ghirardelli white chocolate, chopped into pieces. Over this, pour 1/2 cup of heavy cream that has been brought to the boiling point but not quite boiled. Now stir like hell until the chocolate melts and you have a goopy syrup. Pour over the top of the cake.

I should probably have made more ganache, as you can see it didn't quite make it the whole way down the cake, because the cake was like two feet tall. The red stuff on top is just the extra cream cheese frosting, thinned out with a little cream and tinted with red food coloring. It looks orange in the photo, but I promise it was red. The top is garnished with the leftover white chocolate pieces. This cake made people's bellies hurt, so...mission accomplished!!

At Least Someone Can Bake...

...because I sure can't.

Chocolate-Peanut Butter Chip Cookies

I hate baking. You know, I always think I can do it, and everything usually turns out poorly. It’s all that exact measuring—when I cook, I like to dump some of this in, a little of that, then taste and see what it needs. I can’t be bothered to level off flour or measure out sugar. I do not have the patience to bake.

Alas, I always try anyway. I figured it’d be easy to make cookies using the recipe on the damn bag of Nestle Toll House chocolate chips. Hah. Right.

Here’s what you need:

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks, 1/2 pound) butter, softened
3/4 cup granulated [white] sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 cup chopped nuts

Except I did 1½ cups of chocolate chips and 1½ cups of those Reese’s peanut butter chips. Mmm. Maybe that weighed down the batter too much, I don’t know. Oh well, onto the steps…

1. Combine flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl.
2. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla in large mixer bowl.
3. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition; gradually beat in flour
mixture.
4. Stir in chocolate and peanut butter chips.
5. Realize that there is a hockey game on television that you are missing.
6. Wander into living room, taking cookie dough with you.
7. Marvel at how the Versus Network’s NHL coverage is even worse than the local station's, a feat you never imagined possible.
8. Notice a slight stomach ache and realize you’ve eaten about 25% of the dough.
9. Curse.
10. Drop leftover dough by rounded tablespoon onto ungreased baking sheets.
11. Realize that even though you have eaten a good portion of the dough, this is gonna make a lot of cookies. You’re going to be up all night. Curse again.
12. Bake in preheated 375-degree oven for 9 to 11 minutes or until golden brown.
13. Realize that 11 minutes is probably too long when the first batch comes out sort of... black-ish. Curse. Wow, you’re on a roll!
14. Let cookies stand for 2 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.
15. Wonder why your cookies are flat instead of puffy like the ones in pictures. Wonder if you should have added more baking soda?
16. Wonder what the hell you are doing to do with 3-4 dozen flat ass cookies.
17. Vow never to do this again.





That picture actually makes them look better than they do in person.

On the bright side, they actually tasted pretty good. As Rob put it, they aren’t much to look at, but if you close your eyes when you eat them, it’s a pretty enjoyable experience.

Here he is, proving it.


Oh Rob.



So he gave them a very generous 9 for taste, 5.5 for looks. I averaged this out to 7 hot dogs. I would have rounded up to 7.5, but I hate how my "half a hot dog" clip art is bigger than the full hot dog, and I don't feel like fixing it. Mediocrity at its finest!!


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Contributions!

My evil twin is one hell of a baker. Laura once made this biscotti that she brought to my house, and I didn't speak to my then-boyfriend for nearly a week because he ate the last piece. It was that good. Her first contribution to my blog are these totally bitchin' monkey cupcakes she made for a child's birthday party:



Here is her recipe:

I wanted to use a banana cake recipe but the mom who wanted them, said all chocolate. This recipe made 48 cupcakes! Holy Bananas.

3 cups flour
1 1/2 t. baking soda
3 sticks of butter, supposed to be softened at room temp., I of course put them in the microwave for 10 seconds
1 1/2 cup sugar
8 ounces unsweetened chocolate, melted.
1 1/2 cup brown sugar
6 eggs
1 1/2 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 t. vanilla extract (don't be cheap, use the real shit)


Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line muffin tins with cupcake papers. Set aside.

In a small bowl, sift together the flour and baking soda. Set aside.

In a large bowl, on the medium speed of an electric mixer, cream the butter until smooth. Add the sugars and beat until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the chocolate, mixing until well incorporated. Add the dry ingredients in three parts, alternating with the buttermilk and vanilla (I of course did both all at once and my batter was super thick, but they baked to perfect tops!). Do NOT overbeat. Using a rubber spatula, scrape down the batter in the bowl to make sure the ingredients are well blended and the batter is smooth. Carefully spoon the batter into the cupcake liners, filling them about three-quarters full. Bake for 20–25 minutes, or until a cake tester inserted in the center of the cupcake comes out clean.

Cool the cupcakes in the tins for 15 minutes. Remove from the tins and cool completely on a wire rack before icing.


I made them Friday night and iced them Saturday morning with chocolate icing, large Nilla wafers, mini Nilla wafers, I cut small marshmallows in half for eyes and I used black and red gel for the nose and eyes. All the kids loved them, but they thought they were bought at the grocery store and didn't believe they were homemade.

Here are the finished products. How cute are they?


If you'd like to contribute a recipe, either send me the recipe and I'll make it to the best of my ability, or you can make it and then send me the recipe and photos to thefoodsex@gmail.com.

Italian Night!

Last week I hosted an Italian Night at my house with some wonderful friends from college. There was a ton of food that I didn’t get pictures or recipes for, so I’m just going to document the two that I either made or watched be made. (Watched be made? That can’t be grammatically correct.)

I decided to make eggplant parmesan for this. For anyone who has ever made eggplant parmesan, you’re probably cringing right now. It’s an incredibly labor intensive process that generally sucks, and if you mess up the slightest thing, your eggplant sucks. Every time I make it I usually end up standing in front of the stove with a spatula in hand and tears in my eyes. This time was no exception.

Eggplant Parmesan

What you’ll need:
Two medium-to-large eggplants
Flour
Eggs
Dry breadcrumbs (Some people mix grated parmesan in with this, some don’t. Your call.)
Tomato sauce (I used the last of my homemade stuff, but you can definitely use the jarred kind. Interestingly, my cousin Joe came for this meal and recognized the sauce as our grandmother’s recipe, which touched me a little. I may not be as good a cook as Nana, but at least I can make her sauce!)
Grated parmesan
1 pound of fresh mozzarella, thinly sliced
Oil for frying
Basil
Patience
An appetite for punishment

Slice the eggplant into about ½-inch thick slices. Lay them in a single layer on some cookie sheets and sprinkle very generously with salt. Eggplant has lots of bitter juices, and this technique, known as “weeping,” will help to draw them out. Let them sit for an hour. Take a load off! You’ve had a hard day, and it’s only gonna get worse.

After an hour, take note of all the bitter juices that have wept from the eggplant. Ew! Rinse each slice thoroughly with cold water and pat it dry. You are now already beginning to regret making eggplant.

Once it’s all dry, set up an assembly line: flour in one dish, beaten eggs in another, breadcrumbs in the third. Heat an inch of vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat until it’s really, really hot. I don’t have a thermometer, so I use the water trick that I mentioned before—flick some water at the oil and if it bubbles immediately, you’re all set. Take a slice of eggplant, dredge it in the flour, then the eggs, then the breadcrumbs, then drop it in the oil. “That was easy!” you think. Then you look at the remaining slices to be fried, and inside you, something may snap. Just a warning. So, eggplant really only takes about a minute and a half on each side, and you can do a few slices at once. Just be careful not to overcrowd the pan because too many slices will drop the temperature of the oil and it won’t cook properly. So a minute and a half on each side and then drain on paper towels.

By the time you’re done, your stove will be a mess and you may have wept. But that’s okay! You’re in the home stretch! Spray a 13x9 pan with cooking spray and then pour a little sauce in the bottom (to keep the eggplant from sticking.) Layer slices of fried eggplant, topped with sauce, lots of grated parm, and the sliced mozzarella. Continue layering until all eggplant is covered. Bake at 400 degrees for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with fresh basil and eat the fruits of your labors. You deserve it.

This picture sucks, and the reason is that I forgot to get a picture before everyone started eating, and I was all, “Rob, get in here and take a picture of this!” and he looked at me with a mouthful of food and a belly full of booze like he didn’t even know who I was. So I took it, and yes, it sucks.



You know what didn’t suck? Didn’t suck at all? Ali’s appetizer.

Ali's Totally Bitchin' Pita-Veggie-Cheese Masterpiece

She started with a package of pitas, and cut them into triangles. She drizzled them with olive oil and sprinkled garlic powder, oregano and pepper, and baked them at 325 for about 15 minutes or until they started to get brown and crispy (or until she finished her glass of wine and remembered, “Ooh! I have food in the oven.”)

She took the pita chips out and topped them with the following:
One box of frozen spinach, thawed
Artichoke hearts
Sliced mushrooms
Diced zucchini
Roasted red peppers
Shredded cheese mix of mozzarella and provolone

She put them back in the oven for another 10 minutes or so, until the cheese had melted. Then she put them on my coffee table where they proceeded to be devoured. Again, I didn’t manage to get a picture until people had already jumped on and Rob’s hands were full of pita, so you’re stuck with this. Use your imagination!



So good!

Then we filled our already full bellies with Kacyn’s tiramisu and Sher’s Italian love cake, neither of which I managed to get a picture of because I was stuffing my face. I’m really inefficient.

Anyway, onto the ratings. During the meal, I looked over at Rob’s plate. He had plenty of Megan’s delicious spinach lasagna, of Ali’s pita chips, of bread…but no eggplant. I’m like, “Dude, eat the eggplant!” to which he replied, “Hell no!”
I got him to take a bite, which he admitted “wasn’t too bad,” and that he “liked it” but that was it.
I caught Joe picking at Ali’s appetizer long after everyone else had left, and he ended up taking it home in a Tupperware container.
Thus, I give everything 10 hot dogs and to Rob I say, “pfffffttttt!”

Oh and James, bless his heart, made this awesome-looking casserole of polenta, peppers and sausage. I couldn’t try it, because I don’t eat meat (just fish) but it looked really, really good. Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have of it:



It was late in the night and the wine bottles were empty. What can I say?

I Am Really Gonna Miss the Farmer's Markets

After another successful farmer’s market outing (please don’t go away for the winter, farmer’s markets! Please? I just really love cooking with seasonal, locally grown vegetables. God!) I decided to roast everything that looked good and make cilantro pesto with some pasta. It turned out better than I expected.

Roasted Veggie Pasta with Cilantro Pesto



I’ve always been a fan of basil pesto, but I’ve been on such a cilantro kick lately that I figured it would work too.

So I made this with butternut squash, zucchini and red potatoes. To roast them, begin with the squash (cut it in half, scrape the innards out, cut off the hard outer shell while being very careful not to lose a finger, because that shell is hard as hell to cut off, then cube the flesh.) Add the cubed zucchini and halved potatoes. Toss with olive oil, salt, pepper and a little Italian seasoning. Bake on a cookie sheet or in a roasting pan for about 30 minutes for all of them. Stir occasionally, and adjust cooking times for how well-done you like your veggies. Make sure to read Rob's review for more info on this.

For the cilantro pesto, I mixed a big handful of cilantro leaves, olive oil, fresh grated parmesan, peanuts, salt and pepper. I really have no idea what the measurements were here, but start with a little olive oil and keep adding more (or add a bit of water, if you’re worried about fat EVEN THOUGH IT’S THE GOOD FAT) until it’s the consistency you want.

I garnished with peanuts and parmesan to mirror the flavors in the pesto and served the whole thing over whole wheat rotini, to a very dubious boyfriend. The words “cilantro pesto” are enough to make him run for the nearest Burger King.



Rob's review:

Surprisingly, he didn't cry, or stick out his tongue, or pound his fists on the floor! He just said the zucchini was a little overcooked and gave it 7.5 hot dogs. Whew! To counteract that, i think next time I'd just roast the squash and potatoes together and saute the zucchini in a little oil on the stove, just for a few minutes. It can't seem to handle the long cooking process of roasting without getting flimsy and a little gross. Lesson learned. Anyway...



There you have it.